Wow, this has been a very emotional week or two for me when planning for next fall…preschool, namely. I’ve been chewing on this decision, well, more like obsessing if I’m really honest. And if I’m really super honest, I’ll admit that it’s keep keeping me up at night, been the point of many dicussions with other moms and Allen, possibly even in the cat in some subconscience way.
You see, Abrielle loves her current teachers, and I think they are pretty great too. I really have nothing to complain about-that’s why I wish there weren’t so many great options such as the one I have been lamenting over. There is a class which incorporates a lot of art work (right up my baby girl’s alley), is Reggio-inspired (meaning it’s child-inspired/directed, instead of traditionally solely teacher-driven) and it just sounds great. Other parents have communicated a lot of excitement over it, even those who’ve transferred from our teacher’s class (with much sadness). The dilemma lies in not being able to take Abrielle to Community Bible study, like I’ve been planning for a year now. Apparently from what I’ve been told by other mom friends, they have an amazing children’s program during the Bible study and their kids are just thriving in getting to know who Jesus is. I want that for Abrielle too-I want that for both my kids. yet I know that Abrielle loves preschool, she thrives there, she’s made friends, she loves the enviornment and I know will love Room 13 with Teacher Cody.
I finally decided to stop obsessing and just make a decision-that I would register her for this very popular arts-focused class and spend more time at home doing what I am called to do, show my daughter who the Lord is. I know that no matter how emotional I have been over the decision, and man have I ever been an emotional wreck, she’s gonna do great and have fun either way. Having that one-on-one time with Sawyer as he enters the older toddler years will be great as well. he can accompany me to CBS and teach his sister all he is learning about God, and she in turn can teach her younger brother the abc’s and 123’s.
Why do I then still feel guilty, like she’ll be missing out on so much by not coming to CBS, but the truth is that she also has so much to gain……..this is my last year with my baby girl before she heads off to Kindergarten, and truth be told, I don’t want to have to rush out the door every morning of the week, because that in and of itself is a job and can be stressful…we’ll have Tuesdays & Fridays to do fun stuff the three of us, hitting up the children’s museums, zoo, library, parks, etc….and then when Sawyer naps Abrielle & I will have mommy-daughter time which both of us need. Okay, so I won’t have as much me-time, but from what I hear that doesn’t really happen for like 15 years anyway, who am I kidding? My “me-time” when Sawyer naps and Abrielle’s at school usually consists of cleaning the floor, putting away laundry and finding sneaky, creative ways to minimize the toy clutter.
I have to ask myself why this has been such a tough decision, why so much emotional energy…it’s like she’s heading off to college. Why are preschool choices so difficult…..some kids don’t even go to preschool and I’m pretty sure they do just fine in Kindergarten and beyond. Is it because we want the best and because of all the opportunities available it just becomes overwhelming?