Anyone who knows me well would probably be willing to testify that I am more of a “do-er” than a “be-er.” I don’t know if I should be proud of that, (probably not), but I’ve entered into a season of life I’ve not known for a long time………a season of rest. Pretty much I’m kind of forced into it by virtue of a sore and stiff back post car accident, but actually it is turning out to be kind of a blessing.
I found out that my back issues (according to x-rays) started long before the accident, but the stress of the body’s reaction can oftentimes catapult something unbeknownst, or minor, into something very now well-known and major. The kids and I have pretty much set up camp at the Chiropractor’s office, where, fortunately for all of us, they are very kid-friendly. Abrielle likes to sit and color, while Sawyer has lately been following me into the exam area for “quality control.” He doesn’t mind sitting and watching Dr. P twist, contort, measure, poke, and do all of the things that he does. Who knows, future Dr. material in our midst? Hmmm. Anyhow, in addition to adjustments, I also qualify for massage therapy (which shucky darn, is part of the healing process as well and importantly aligns with the adjustments happening)
So where am I going with all of this? I’ve just found that this season of healing and rest is surprisingly easy and challenging at the same time. I’ve had to turn down opportunities I’d normally push for, and really take time to listen to my body. Not only listen, actually, but respect it. I’ve surprised myself lately, that I am capable of putting my body first and choosing to prioritize the healing process over most other things. This is not my norm. But, when I really think about it, this is the only earthly body I’ve got; I want to take care of it.
Dealing with the challenges of a not-so-willing-back are well, just that, challenging. Especially hard on the kids I think. Sawyer is having to walk more instead of being carried, which he often tries to flash a picket sign at, and Abrielle asked me the other day when my back is going to get better and they can be picked up and carried again. My babies. Of course I want to pick them up, swing them around, and I do, on occasion, but minimally and totally not like before. I imagine myself in a field of wildflowers, dancing, swinging my kids around until I’m dizzy and they fall down laughing hysterically.
On the driving end of things, I’d say that being in the car is still nerve-wracking. I still have a fear of being hit by someone. Today during an attempt at kickboxing (low-impact version, self-prescribed), I had a terrifying vision of being hit broadside and my entire left side being crushed. I wasn’t even in the car. It totally made me shudder. Yesterday I took the kids to the museum of flight and totally dreaded the long drive….there were a few points where I felt anxiety heighten and panic coming on-I just tried to breathe, pray, turn on the hazards, slow down, and stay calm. We got there and back okay, but I’m certainly not eager to drive many distances these days. I pause long and hard and look all around me at intersections, almost expecting someone to come plowing through.
Totally off the topic (thankfully, because it goes get old talking about this sometimes), Abrielle has taken up a new hobby of wanting to be my sous chef! She’s been showing more interest in cooking; perhaps due to my energy of inviting her into participation more often. I’ve taught her how to go one step ahead of a butter knife and chop fruits and vegetables. She stirs stuff by the stove, adds ingredients (does a lot of quality control), and just seems to enjoy being my helper. I try and think that she’ll be more motivated to eat what she has helped prepare-sometimes yes, sometimes no, and I’m trying not to have too many expectations.